This is sure to be a TMI for all you males. Tough Shit. Deal with it.

There are things about being a girl that you guys just don’t get. Having your period doesn’t just mean you bleed for a week without dying. There are many other aspects too that I bet you haven’t even thought of:

• Your boobs ache. This you should know already. But do you realize the extent to which they ache? They are tingly and super sensitive at least a week before your due date to be full of shit. All your nipples really want is to be carefree and hanging loose, mother goose, but they aren’t. Instead they’re strapped up and squashed to fuck in material cups that remind you every third minute why being a hippie isn’t so bad.

• Wearing white during this week is a near impossibility. Constantly aware of a possible leakage, or filled with thoughts of clothes being ruined or *horrors* not to mention the fact that you are so bloated, you may not even fit into those pants for a while! But more importantly, checking out ones own ass every time you get up from anywhere appears quite on the ridiculous side of things.

• Buying the bloody equipment to be equipped for this whole thing is an ordeal all on its own. Do you guys even realize the thoughts that need to be processed for this? Should I use this one, or the one in a tube? What if I forget to take the plastic off? Oh my fucking fuck! WHAT IF I FORGET IT’S IN ME?

• The nagging of one’s boyfriend during this time can be pretty annoying too. No I will not just “un-plug” myself. Hell no, anal does not qualify as a substitute! Nor does a blowjob, shit head. Jesus. You have two hands – use them!

I’m hormonal. I’m bloated. I’m bleeding. Step away from the Period!