I posted that last post at midnight, sorry.

Thanks for pointing it out to me Aims.

CLICK THE LINK HERE!!!!

1. CLICK THIS LINK to open into a new window
2. Be dazzled
3. Save the link

This will be my last post here, so best you do it immediately or you will lose out on my awesomeness.

Do you <i>really</i> want to risk that?

Nah, I thought not.  See you on the other side

I’m still alive. national crisis at work, involving foreign affairs. can’t go into details, but dudes, pray for those of you that do. a diver has been kidnapped. by nigerians.

hectic.

also, remind me to tell you about a new project im doing.

love you baaaaaaaaaai.

1. Every morning Pretty brings me a mocco java that she makes herself. It consists of all those fat free things like sugar, coffee, milk, creamer & hot chocolate. Oh my O-face, it is to die for!

2. As excited as I am to get my newly built office, I absolutely adore my current one. It is far away from everyone else except the IT department, its LARGE, it has aircon and is right near the toilets but far away from the kitchen. I like this.

3. Every morning on the way to work I listen to my song from Snow Patrol. Its emo, but it grounds me and reminds me that I have been in far worse headspaces than I am these days, and that makes me smile. I then listen to Gareth Cliff bitch on 5fm. God I adore that mans arrogance.

4. There is a smell of ‘Home’ when I enter The Shath. It hits me every time, its a mixture of baby powder, stay soft and dettol. It reminds me of Cath & Cam.

5. Yoga. I just love it. I can’t remember the last time I found something I enjoyed doing as much. Even though it sometimes gets us all sweaty and hot, I still walk away feeling like I’ve been drifting on a sail boat.

6. Toast with butter. Nothing else. It is my current favourite meal. Sometimes a bit of scrambled egg. I pick this over a steak even.

Just to piss off Gluggie, I’m ending off on an uneven number:

7. My orange nail polish. Its bright, cheap looking and doesn’t go with any of my clothes, but fuck it I’m in love.

So, if this Hadron Collider thingie does, in fact, end the world today at 09.30am these are the things I will miss the most aside from my family and friends.

Happy hump day everyone, lets hope we get out of it alive!

i know they think they mean well
but do you think they know how it makes you feel
i stand as a witness to their unfound words
and am beside you, behind you and in front if you ever need

rebellion is a good colour on you
don’t ever replace it
rebellion is a good colour on you
don’t ever fake it
rebellion is a good colour on you
i know you can make it

give up trying to understand this post, its only meant for person and if you don’t know who it is then its obviously not you.

Just tonight we have had the local police roaming the streets two metres at a time announcing a community policing forum.  Repeatedly. Again and again. Every two metres:

*police siren woooo eeeep wooo* and then over the speakers;
“Vhis are a reminder, tomorrow even-eeng at va corn-err off X and Y Straat that there are being a community policing forum for the community en va Police”.

REPEAT.  SIREN, ANNOUNCEMENT, DRIVE TWO METRES, REPEAT SIREN, ANNOUNCEMENT, DRIVE TWO METRES.  This being at 7.30pm, when normal families are putting kids to bed and normal bloggers are sitting down to watch Joey on SABC 3.

After giving up on putting Cam to bed while the copper does his announcements, Cath goes outside to smoke and spots a homeless couple in the road right outside our apartment block and comes to call me.  We have a habit of spying on everyone in our neighbourhood from either of our balconies.  By the time I got there, they were rolling out the blankets and setting up for a picnic under the stars, right in our garden!

Our first reaction was to call the Police, but then the police car strolled right on past and didn’t care.  Eventually the local station picked up the phone and by the time Cath got the message through that we needed vagrants to be removed, the hobos had heard everything (we were directly above them on our balcony) and removed themselves.  The following conversation takes place:

Cath: Ok, sorry, don’t send a car.  The homeless people have gone.
Cop: eh?
Cath: The people you had to chase away have left. You don’t have to come through.
Cop: No, it is fine – we are on our way, okay? Plus minus forty meeneets.
Cath: No, seriously, don’t send a cop car – they have removed themselves from our property.
Cops: Yebo, we weel remoof them, don’t worrr.
Cath: NO! YOU’RE NOT LISTENING! I DON’T WANT ANY POLICE TO COME HERE NOW!
Cops: Because why you phoning then?
Cath: Sigh (tears in eyes) Please. Please just cancel the call out.
Cops: Oh. Ehwe.  You have no need now?
Cath: No, no need, the homeless people are not here anymore.  Please. Cancel the call out.
Cops: Ok, thank you goodbye.

Half an hour later the homeless couple came back. They are currently sleeping under their blankets and are folded into a ball on the grass.  We didn’t have the strength to call the police again.

If they come back tomorrow, I’ll ask them to leave myself.

So, anyway.  Lets talk about embarrasing moments.  You have all read about mine here on this very blog, but I shall list my top 3 for you anyway.  Then I want to hear about yours.  Come on, its only fair since you lot have had the pleasure of laughing numberous times at my expense:

1. Ryan Kankowski (my future sperm donor and husbank) saw me trip and fall in the middle of a shopping center over here.
2. I accidentally excremented and overflooded my friends loo over here.
3. In a mistaken moment, I was convinced my car was being hijacked before my very eyes over here.

Now, leave a comment for me and list your top three.  Think about it.  Even one situation. Come on, I need some attention people, I’m feeling very unloved and need a giggle.

Kthxluvyabi.

If you have been under a rock, you’re forgiven, but click here now to show some support in the way of comments to the photographic contestansts so far, or enter yourself – you have the rest of the month.

I’m a judge so do what I say!

One of my brothers thought it would be funny to rugby tackle me whilst in mid  crouching pretzel, floating ostrich yoga position. Today I woke up with a sprained neck and torn back muscles. Super.  

Despite my brokeness and fleeting shrieks and wimpers, my mom demanded that I take her to a shopping heaven in the middle of the city. Even Glenda the GPS didn’t know how to get us there, which meant we were stuck in West street, Durban Central, in the middle of what seemed like a taxi war, a competition between pedestrians to see who could piss me off the most and a situation where we were the only white faces among a million black faces who all looked at us like we were circus clowns in a strip joint. We must have had our ‘begging to be robbed by city slicker gangster dudes’ faces on because, damn. If I didn’t wield my pepper spray and my mom hadn’t waved around her hair scissors (don’t ask) I can almost guarantee there would have been a mugging.

After it took me an hour to get from one set of robots to another, I eventually got us to Everlasting, the heavenly shop of our desire. Inside, we only had to contend with toothless security guards, metal gates and a line to the tills about a mile long.

In search of food on the way home, hours later, I was out voted when I suggested we stop to fill up my car. “Just wait til we get back to your neighbourhood,” they said, “its (the petrol needle) nowhere near the red,” they said. Needless to say, five metres later I ran out of petrol. Right in the middle of the road. Holding up traffic. My neck was sore, also my back. Then I ran out of smokes. Had to wait for my sister to come save us with a jerry can of vehicular goodness.

So, to recap: I had been driving around for over two hours on an empty stomach, my back and neck were killing me but my mom conveniently lost the ability to drive as she didn’t “know the area and was nervous” so I looked like an ostrich with the angles I was sitting at, I ran out of petrol in the middle of the road, holding up traffic and everything, without smokes, on the weekend of my deceased daughters birthday. Fucking super.

Anyway, when I was eventually saved a million years later, back at my brothers place I was fed anti-inflammatory drugs, poured coke and given a bean bag to prop myself up with on the couch. Once the medication had kicked in we chilled out some more over wine and Eric Clapton, who happened to be in the CD player randomly and also played at Kiera’s funeral. We thought it was an ironic coincidence and left him to be listened to in the background.

Saturday afternoon had us watching the rugga at Dros, which is very nice by the way. Particularly their upstairs area or the balcony outside that looks out onto the water fountain. Dros was followed by Mimo’s pizza and a live singer in the courtyard who I mentally willed to fall into the water feature or pond. What a cheeseball. He did try serenade my sister to her horror and our absolute sardonic delight.

All in all, a good ending to a very predictably bad day. Tomorrow will have us at the motor cross track with the boys bikes kicking up some dust and me hopefully not hurting my body any more than it is already.