In my past life I was a mermaid

July 30, 2008 at 6:24 am 18 comments

Oprah had some weird shit on air last night.  A male volunteer, well – volunteered, to be hypnotised into his past lives and they video recorded the entire event.  It was insane.  He cried as he detailed one of his deaths going down in a plane as a war fighter.  Then he was crushed by a giant container and his head exploded in another life.  In one more life he witnessed his sister being raped.  Funnily enough, in his real life now, his sister and him have never been able to bond, and he is convinced this is why – he feels to guilty for not stopping the rape in the previous life.  Hectic, boet.

Anyway, I was chatting to my buddy from Hoburg, Kev, last night:

Me: Kev, I think I just solved the mystery of why I have this morbid fear of fish!

Kev: Oh lord.  Okay, hit me with it?

Me: In my last life, I must have been a mermaid!

Kev:  Haha! You just made me spit my tea out, man! Nothing more realistic, maybe, like being a stand up comedian for President Lincolin, or Jackie Kennedy?

Me:  Oh please, if you wanted to go for reality, I would have been the maid that worked for the lady who knew the man who once shook President Lincolin’s hand at an event open to the paupers.

Kev:  I’m going to bed, you’re on a roll I see and if I don’t leave now, you’ll keep me here all night.  Okthxluvyoubi!

So, anyway – what do you think you were in your last life judging by your characteristics now?

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On being a groupie and stuff I could be a Daisy Rocker

18 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Goblin  |  July 30, 2008 at 7:13 am

    I was like totally Joan of Arc man…and like…a bunny rabbit…and and and…a sloth.
    Nothing quite so cool as a mermaid 😦

    Reply
  • 2. shebee  |  July 30, 2008 at 7:19 am

    Joan of Arc was cooooooooool, Gobs! I bet you we totally hung out and had tequila tuesdays and stuff.

    Reply
  • 3. KaB  |  July 30, 2008 at 7:26 am

    I think I must have been a ho or something cos I’m just far too angelic now…I’m paying for my sins…fuck! On a more dreamy note…I reckon I could have been like a Jane Austen come Lizzy Bennett type of character…very feminine yet highly concerned about the patriarchal society we live in…I also strongly believe that I had a Mr Darcy & am now (again) deserved of no dreamy men like him…I had my shot…fuckity fuck!!

    *sigh*

    Reply
  • 4. KaB  |  July 30, 2008 at 7:28 am

    Dude…my comment…wtf?! SheBee has comment moderation…OMG…what the fuck happened to your liberal ways?!?/

    Reply
  • 5. leez  |  July 30, 2008 at 7:53 am

    you watched oprah? 🙂

    Don’t know what i was but must have done some really messed up shit. Or maybe royalty bu tnot like a king, more like the jealous Duke or something.

    Reply
  • 6. shebee  |  July 30, 2008 at 8:11 am

    Yes, I watched her. You aren’t the only late night Oprah watcher, you know.

    Reply
  • 7. Stef  |  July 30, 2008 at 8:39 am

    it was a crazy program!!! weird and freaky! i don’t buy it though, that one chick Catherine lived 86 times?? come on… thanks but no thanks, living ONCE is quite enough… ok i lie, i would like another try please…

    in my past life i was probably a Viking, that sounds like fun, OR Queen Elizabeth… or maybe i was a courtisan… 🙂 mwhahahahahahahaha

    what was kind of strange of last night’s program was that basically ALL of the people they talked to had some gruesome death experience, or more than one… what ever happened to the folks who lived till they were 94 and died peacefully in their rocking chair, nursing a cigar and a whisky?

    🙂

    Reply
  • 8. shebee  |  July 30, 2008 at 8:47 am

    Stef – mwahahahahahaaa – COURTISAN! YES! That would suit you down to the ground! LOL, you minx you!

    I only watched the second half of it unfortunately, was doing a bit of work on ze book before that, so I only saw that dude’s story. T’was freaky though.

    Thanks for your essay, I mean comment.

    Love me
    xox

    Reply
  • 9. Glugster  |  July 30, 2008 at 10:09 am

    I was an amoeba in my previous life. Things were so peaceful then…..

    Reply
  • 10. shebee  |  July 30, 2008 at 10:15 am

    Wait. I’m too lazy to google. Wtf is an amoeba, Glugs?

    Reply
  • 11. Amy  |  July 30, 2008 at 10:22 am

    Believe it or not, being the new agey hippy chick that i am, i’ve had my past lives read before. Apparently i’ve lived 7 times before and, amongst other things, was a Puritan who rebelled against her faith.

    Maybe that explains why i dont believe in religion at all but am still a spiritual person….

    Reply
  • 12. shebee  |  July 30, 2008 at 10:26 am

    Amy, I was waiting for your comment when I read this, I knew that you’d have something to say!

    Only 7 lives before this one? You’re but a noob!

    Reply
  • 13. Glugster  |  July 30, 2008 at 11:27 am

    “Amoeba (sometimes amœba or ameba, plural amoebae) is a genus of protozoa that moves by means of pseudopods, and is well-known as a representative unicellular organism. The word amoeba or ameba is variously used to refer to it and its close relatives, now grouped as the Amoebozoa, or to all protozoa that move using pseudopods, otherwise termed amoeboids.”

    You asked.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amoeba

    Reply
  • 14. shebee  |  July 30, 2008 at 11:52 am

    okay, I’m going to say it:

    WHAT. THE. FUCK.

    Reply
  • 15. msbehavn  |  July 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    Amoebae are single-celled organisms, Shee. ie. Very basic. Sound like you, Glugs? lol

    Reply
  • 16. justBcoz  |  July 30, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    I was *definitely* a rock star

    Reply
  • 17. angel  |  July 30, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    i reckon maybe i was a painted lady in the old west…

    Reply
  • 18. shebee  |  August 11, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    Kab, dude, sorry! My akismet keeps eating your comments as spam! Sorry lovie!

    I had to put comment moderation on, I hada fucking stalker yo!

    Reply

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