Hayzooz Hernandez, I’ve decided to stop smoking!

August 8, 2008 at 9:51 am 35 comments

It is one day away from payday which means that any spare cash I might have had has been spent, and after the two single cigarettes in my box, I won’t have the ability to replace this box with a new one for 36 hours. The decision hits me to stop smoking.

I’ve always battled to not smoke because they were always available. But now at work the smokers are the minority.  We are banished to an outside area where filthy cigarette stubs are the only decoration on tar and absolutely no cover from the ear screaching wind or shelter from the rain.  In my section of the floor, I have my own office, so I won’t be tempted by others.  At home, Cath smokes outside anyway, so it won’t affect me and I’ll get rid of all ashtrays and disinfect my room with her miracle Dettol solution.  I have 36 hours head start where I actually can’t smoke, and I’m so excited!

Thursday 7 / 8 / 2008

18.00pm – I say to my Flat mate Cath, “Dude – how would you handle quitting smoking right now?” “Not well at all, why?” with a somewhat cautious tone in her voice. “Well, I think I might try stopping-” I look at her for her reaction, as her facial expressions only ever tell me what’s going on internally, and she has a glint of fear in her eye. “Um, c-c-could you possibly move in with sister Cam then?” is what she came up with.

Ah, fuck! I think- is it really going to be all that bad?

20.00pm – three hours since last Nicotine Stick (hereafter referred to as NS) Twittering like mad, facebooking and chatting to mates has kept me sane when I notice my foot tapping a little too vigorously than usual. I am more than ready to enjoy my second to last smoke, ever.

23.00pm – have watched movie ‘Riding in cars with boys’ to distract me. Lovely movie, made me cry. But that could also be because I know I only have one NS left. Thoughts of desperation have kicked in:

  • What will I do with my hands in the car on the way to and from Work? It’s my best time to smoke! 
  • When I get annoyed, how will I calm myself down? Nothing beats a puff session when you’re annoyed. 
  • Okay, like, I know my parents read this blog, but: (whispers) what can replace a post coital fag?! 
  • I’m already packing on a pound or few, I don’t want to start eating everything and everyone in sight just to distract my lungs! 
  • Will I cope with dealing with other people smoking?
  • What if I have to surround myself with non smokers?
  • Non smokers are mostly nerdy though. 
  • Oh Shit! What if I have to fucking stop swearing? I can’t do this. I’m too cool to be a nerd!

 

23.01pm – I puff on my last drag. Lovingly cradling it between my lips, inhaling the tobaccowy goodness. Knowing it will be our one last love affair. As it ends, my lungs give out a sigh and we know that the cigarettes will be sorely missed.

* * * * *  

Friday 08 / 08 / 2008

It is now 09.49am and I have not had a smoke in just over ten hours, four of them I’ve been conscious enough to feel I haven’t had a smoke. I’m feeling…okayish. My tongue seems rather thick for some reason, if I were to be frank. My lungs are rather toight and breathing is sort of rapid every now and again. I find myself clenching my jaw quite a lot too, while my hands are very energetic and my foot is tap-tap-tapping away under my desk. I can feel I need a smoke, but I’m not ready to pickle my eyeballs or anything.

Lets see how this goes. Wish me luck!  I’ve decided to keep a journal on this.

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Entry filed under: bad habits.

An insight into me, and what I live by. I’ve had way too much sadness in this lifetime

35 Comments Add your own

  • 1. cathjenkin  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:07 am

    You go girl!

    You know i was joking right?

    Reply
  • 2. B  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:12 am

    Its going to be tough… hang in there.. drink loads of water.. and take it all one day at a time.. try not too look too far ahead.. and everytime you want a smoke.. get up.. pour yourself a glass of water.. and do something physical..

    Thats how I did it..

    Reply
  • 3. Goblin  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:14 am

    Good luck shebee! 😀
    I tried it once but I got so bitchy my family was thrusting cigarettes at me. .

    Replace the sticks with sex 😉

    Reply
  • 4. shebee  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:22 am

    Cath – lol! No, dude, I’m at home packing my bags as we speak. Hahaa, if I don’t get your jokes by now, I never will right? Of course I know that silly. Now. What the fuck are we going to do to keep me from smoking tonight? You know I’ve made you my number 1 stoppersmokera, right? For when I need to be physically restrained and all that.

    B – aww thanks babe, thats really some good advice! I’ve actually stopped halfway through this comment to fetch water.

    Goblin – oooh, I know my family would do the same which is why I’m staying at home for the next few weeks and avoiding them. It might mean that my flatmate banishes me to my bedroom when I get too out of hand and miserable though. At least I know she has the back bone to stand up to me and not cave in when I need her to be that way.

    Reply
  • 5. Amy  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:27 am

    Good luck! You know i’m the a huge advocate for not smoking so i’m completely on your bandwagon of encouragement!

    You want me to send you daily mantras of support ? 🙂

    Mantra for today – ” The money i save on cigarettes i can spend on shoes, the money i save on cigarettes i can spend on shoes…. “

    Reply
  • 6. cathjenkin  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:29 am

    @SheBee LOL I KNOW TART.

    Right. To be honest, i have no idea what I am going to do with you. I know this though…

    You’re going to chew gum. Alot of it.

    And I am going to say nothing but complimentary stuff to you. constantly.

    I think what youre doing is awesome. I know I cannot do it right now. But fuck yes. you go girl!

    X

    Reply
  • 7. shebee  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:34 am

    whahahaha Aims – you’re good girl. You know thats my weakness! *mantering mantering mantering*

    Cath – thanks my love. I promise to not take my decision out on you. And if I do get out of hand, tell me to go for a walk or something.

    Reply
  • 8. cathjenkin  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:37 am

    LOL you know i will.

    SHEENA GO TO YOUR ROOM

    SHEENA GO KNIT A DOILIE

    Holy sack. I would never tell you to go and knit. Omg. waha.

    I promise to try and keep you laughing X

    Reply
  • 9. shebee  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:43 am

    waaaaaaaa! Dude, we both know that I’d poke my eye out. Oh, and I start Yoga next week with Cinderella. Holy gawd.

    Worlds most uncoordinated person doing Yoga. What fun!

    Reply
  • 10. cathjenkin  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:54 am

    wahah yoga.

    who knows. you may actually learn how to put one foot in front of another!

    DUDE. in our house.. thats a fucking SKILL

    =)

    Reply
  • 11. Ches  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:57 am

    OMG…good luck Sheebs…

    Keep a little hippie of whiskey with you and have a timple when you feel like a smoke…

    Reply
  • 12. shebee  |  August 8, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Cath, you’re not joking mate.

    Ches – I’m sorry, have you met me? I’ll walk around permanently drunk!

    Reply
  • 13. kyknoord  |  August 8, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Not to discourage you or anything, but I stopped smoking in 1993 and I still miss it.

    Reply
  • 14. shebee  |  August 8, 2008 at 11:15 am

    No cool, Kyk. I know I’ll miss it and everything, I just don’t want to have to crave it all the time.

    Reply
  • 15. Carlo  |  August 8, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Hi SheBee,

    Good luck with the smoking thing, ive done it too and today is actually my 8th month clean day!! Its always the multiples of 3 that tempts you to start smoking again, like the 3rd day, 3rd week, 3rd month, etc. If you can get through them then you will be fine. A few things that worked for me when I stopped was water, peanuts (the ones stil in their dop…) and running. Peanuts help keep your hands busy and helps to get rid of the smoking crave. Running replaces the rush that you get sometimes, and water is there to help you feel clean.

    You can also get rid of/clean anything that smells like smoke, and after about 2weeks you will be able to smell again, which is actually a weird experiance.

    Hope that helps.

    Reply
  • 16. Marcel  |  August 8, 2008 at 11:22 am

    I stopped smoking 8 days ago, got a baby on the way in 2 months so it’s a good time after 7 years.

    This is the first & ONLY time. Who wants to do through this again?

    5 days for the physical nicotine addiction to wear off, then another 16 days for the mental bullsh!t to go away.

    Apparently the Allen Carr book/course works wonders. A friend of mine read it & has stopped for just over 2 weeks now.

    (To be honest, I can’t STAND it that I’m not smoking … where’s the ‘rewards’? what do I do when I’m bored? all these questions!!!)

    Reply
  • 17. shebee  |  August 8, 2008 at 11:35 am

    Carlo thank you my darling 🙂 I love hearing all these things, it actually makes it feel like this is quite possible, stopping smoking. I can’t do running because of my holy heart but thats where the yoga comes in! Seriously, you get to ‘smell again’? I thought my smelling talents were quite okay anyway…

    Thank you for your comment lovie.

    Marcel – hi!

    First off, congratulations on ze baba, how wonderful for you! May every shitty nappy bring you joy and let the baby never wee in your eye 😀

    On a serious note, thats what I think I will battle with the most. I really enjoy smoking, but its gotten to the point that almost anywhere I go lately, I’m usually the odd one out and I’ve begun to resent feeling like a polluter.

    The looks non smokers give me, the comments I hear, the price of the bloody things… its all just become too much.

    Also, my birthday is coming up and I’ve decided to start taking better care of myself now as I’m not always going to be the spring chicken that I am now. I know I’ll want to kick my own butt in a few years from now if I don’t start doing something while I can.

    Goodluck though, honey! Check back in here if you need some moral support, god alone knows how I’m going to whine about it for a while to come 🙂

    Reply
  • 18. justBcoz  |  August 8, 2008 at 11:39 am

    WOAH!!

    You’re serious then … I saw your tweets last night and wondered.

    Crikey, what a Brave Bee you are! It’s going to be very rough, but you are lucky to have The Cath in your corner =)

    Lollyloads of good luck to you!! … for the yoga thang haha 🙂

    Reply
  • 19. shebee  |  August 8, 2008 at 11:47 am

    I’m as serious as Cancer, chickieboo.

    And, noooo! You can’t start laughing at the Yoga already! At least let me get there and fuck it up before you start laughing 😦

    * Just kidding, we all know what to expect.

    Reply
  • 20. justBcoz  |  August 8, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Well, big up to you for giving BOTH a jolly good go!

    Reply
  • 21. Stef  |  August 8, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    nooit!

    if it get’s too hard just start cutting down, i’m on 8 a day and possibly moving on to 5 real soon… and stop smoking in your car, that’s the first thing i did… if i can manage to smoke 5 a day… i will be smoking still when i sit on the ouetehuis stoep! i just can’t do the cold turky thing, i want to faint just thinking about it…

    if you can do this sheebs, go for it, i’ll be hugely impressed!

    Reply
  • 22. Amy  |  August 8, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Wait, you’re starting yoga too ? So no smoking, doing yoga, loves shoes, not all that tall …. Sheena, i hate to alarm you but you’re turning into me!

    Reply
  • 23. Jaun  |  August 8, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    Congrats and gud luck babe.I hope u win this stop smoking campaign.im proud of u.i always will b.
    Luv ya.mwa

    Reply
  • 24. leez08  |  August 8, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Oh, The hypocrisy!!!! For weeks while I sufferd you threw your smoking in my face!!! you said it was okay.

    What happened?!!! I’ve stuck to my three a day and maybe next year it will be two a day? Kudos on the yoga.

    Reply
  • 25. Spencer Eggworth  |  August 8, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    I’m 9 months down the non-tarred track after a 30 a day habit. It’s really worth it (although I did almost commit a few homicides in the 3rd week and I ran away from home in the 5th week) and I must say that I have a sickening sense of superiority since I quit that shite. (Farts smell much better too!)

    G’luck and hang in there girl!

    Reply
  • 26. angel  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    i am proud of you shebeeliciousness!

    Reply
  • 27. Ches  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    Nothing wrong with that!?

    Reply
  • 28. SheBee  |  August 8, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    Thank you darlings 🙂 Your support has helped so much.

    Reply
  • 29. Coyote  |  August 9, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    good luck!

    a friend of mie is quitting, for the final time, at the moment.

    she’s following the dr oz, on oprah, way.
    set a quit date and went to doc to get meds to help her get off of it.

    lots of water and chewy, fat free sweets, also help in the beginning.

    Reply
  • 30. Stew  |  August 9, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    I believe it is a good and wise thing you have done. However, remember that if, say, you were to catch fire, you’re GOING to smoke. It’s only natural. And if you do find yourself in a personal conflagration, you might do well to remember water. Which, pouring on yourself will serve to extinguish the flames BUT will cause more smoke. This might depress you and make you think that you’re doing something wrong, but you’re not. Sometimes smoking is good.

    So sayeth the Stew

    Reply
  • 31. shebee  |  August 9, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    Day 3 and going strong guys 😀

    Its been 48.5 hours now. I am a legend.

    Reply
  • 32. mclovin  |  August 11, 2008 at 9:00 am

    if you feel temped to smoke, just give in. Except when it comes time to smoke, procrastinate. Keep on putting off smoking. If you procrastinate good enough you may never smoke again.

    Reply
  • 33. dash  |  August 11, 2008 at 10:01 am

    seriously, although its entertaining to read this, the more you think about it to write it the worse it will get. Don’t kill yourself. Find someone else to entertain you!

    Reply
  • 34. shebee  |  August 11, 2008 at 10:23 am

    Nah, actually I find writing about it just makes me more motivated to stop.

    Reply
  • […] so, because that would mean I’m a fourth way there.  It’s so strange going through this, this ‘trying to quit’ thing. I mean, I’ve done it once before.  But it was different back […]

    Reply

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