This post will not please my male readers.

August 17, 2008 at 10:28 pm 31 comments

Please can I say something? Men suck. They do. Don’t sit there reading this and tell me that you’re different, okay? Shut up and stop lying, you lying little sack of poo. You are all crap! What with your stupid little penises, and your car fetishes, and your ability to change stupid light globes and what not. Who needs you anyway? I feel that we chickies were all laced with far too much generosity in spilling our emotion on you dudes. I mean, lets be honest here – we don’t get it back. If it weren’t for procreation, I would vote for eliminating the lot of most of you. Bleh!

To my friend who was slapped with a small case of men fuckwittage, I love you. You are awesome, and you deserve so much more than that person who didn’t know what he had and hopefully realizes now that he’s lost it. Hell, if I was lesbian, I’d totally jump you. Here’s to the PPP!

Cath and I did a Pina party on Saturday night, just the two of us, all on our own, sitting on the lounge floor. It was awesome! Completely spontaneous, too, it’s always the best time to have fun. Small pity I then went and drunk twitteraged myself to oblivion. The guys haven’t let me forget it!

Anyway, that’s not my point. What is my point, is that my special friend and I went out this weekend and blew a whole lot of money on clothes, shoes, hoodies, scarves, a hand bag, hats, beanies, make up & jewellery. Realistically speaking, I think we independently funded The Pavilion in all its glory to remain open on a Sunday. Retail therapy baby, get out of our way, men! We’re not above kicking you in the nuts!

I might not be able to eat for the duration of… oh, I don’t know, this lifetime, but by God I will look fucking good at it! This is me, eating beans on toast, but look how sexy my shoes are.

Happy Monday. NOT!

Countdown til my birthday: 5 more sleeps!

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Just a friendly reminder SA Beauty Pageant 2008. Good lawd!

31 Comments Add your own

  • 1. SwissTwist  |  August 17, 2008 at 10:57 pm

    Here here to eliminating most of MAN-kind!You can add Mr Twist to that list too!

    Sounds like you and Cath had a lurvely time!! I’m so jealous! Makes me with I had a girlfriend to hang out with sometimes 🙂

    PS Can we see the sesy shoes?

    Reply
  • 2. Amy  |  August 17, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    Yep, men do suck a lot of the time. But i know some nice ones, so can we make a shortlist of the ones we want to keep before you mass murder them ?

    And yep, lets see the shoes. Mmmm, shoes….

    Reply
  • 3. Dimitrio  |  August 17, 2008 at 11:42 pm

    I can’t speak for all of us, but I am Awesome!

    Reply
  • 4. Stew  |  August 18, 2008 at 2:24 am

    Men are pigs. I are toast. At least my avatar resembles something that looks kinda like toast.

    Now, at the risk of being serious AND pissing off the masses. Girls are generally guilty as hell of going after the type of guy that is not right for them. I’m wondering if this particular guy was “that type”.

    Reply
  • 5. cathjenkin  |  August 18, 2008 at 7:44 am

    trust you sheena, to get the internet talking.

    =)
    thank you my friend. X

    Reply
  • 6. shebee  |  August 18, 2008 at 8:26 am

    Swiss – lol @ you adding Mr. Twist. But who will cook for you babe? We can’t have you getting fat on swiss chocolate up there in the Alps!

    Aims – hehe okay, short list done 🙂 Send your entires and clauses why they should stay.

    MY SHOES ARE DIVINE. Don’t know how to upload pics from phone yet though. Watch this space.

    D – I knew you’d be the first to point out your male awesomness. Sigh…

    Stew – shuddup, women are PERFECT! :p

    Cath – our weekend was awesome man 🙂 The entire internet got to hear just how many Pina’s we had on Saturday, too. Sorry 😦

    Reply
  • 7. Made In SA  |  August 18, 2008 at 8:29 am

    if i put on womens clothing and hang around in bars…. do you think i might avoid the scorn of the female population? coz i really want to be a lumberjack! 🙂
    jees nice opening blog for the week! guess i will go drown myself……. after my coffee!
    Hugs
    Hermaphrodities.

    Reply
  • 8. shebee  |  August 18, 2008 at 8:37 am

    MISA – wahahaha! oh come now, there’s no need to become a Herm on my account. Transvestite, however, would be a lot of fun to see!

    How kak is the weather today? Yussie. Makes me wanna stay in bed and drink milo all the while watching tongue in cheek slap stick comedies!

    Reply
  • 9. Made In SA  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:02 am

    Oh a fellow comedy perveyor? did the whole weekend of monty python, hots shots and airplane dvd’s …..im feeling funny now! as for the toungue in cheek comedies…..there a good one showing in parliment! and a sad remake is presently unvieling its self at the olympics….. 😦

    Reply
  • 10. shebee  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:17 am

    Oh I am a HUGE comedy perveyor! Much to my flatmates horror, I subject her to watching all sorts of weirdo comedies.

    Reply
  • 11. B  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:22 am

    omgosh!

    How unreal! Have you watched What happens in Vegas? I watched that movie on saterday and there is a scene in there that may interest you.. Its called the revenge plot.. Check it out here Revenge Plot) scroll down to the bottom for the youtube clip..

    All men can be assholes.. but I have met lots that work hard at not being one..

    Reply
  • 12. cathjenkin  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:31 am

    @B you just summed up the MAC philosophy.

    Which. if you’re sheena or cath, is sipholosophy.

    =)

    Reply
  • 13. Made In SA  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:35 am

    Shew thanks B, i thought i was the only decent guy! lol… should we start a “nice guys club”? Oh my hat that sounds a little too feminin for me…… at least my princess and my puppy think im great! surely that counts a little in my favour?
    as for the “all men” chirp, i know a train load of biatches that could make lemons go sour, they drink a glass of pool acid first thing in the morning! so think we call it quits on the name slinging? have a cool new version of the “I will survive” tune that most independant women of today can sing along to….
    SING IT GIRLS!!!

    At first I was afraid, I was petrified.

    When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!

    But I’d spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That

    I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on…

    But there you are, another lie,

    I was ready for a Big Mac and you’ve brought me a French Fry!

    I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream

    Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those

    jeans!

    Go on now – go,! Walk out the door,

    Don’t you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!

    Weren’t you a brat to think I wouldn’t find you out!?

    Don’t you know we’re only joking when we say size don’t count??!!

    [Chorus]

    I will survive! I will survive!

    Cuz as long as I have batteries,

    My sex life’s gonna thrive!

    I will always have good sex,

    with a handful of latex!

    I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

    It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,

    When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!

    But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,

    Now I’m saving all my lovin’ for a cordless multispeed!

    [Chorus]

    I will survive! I will survive!

    Cuz as long as I have batteries,

    My sex life’s gonna thrive!

    I will always have good sex,

    With a handful of latex!

    I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

    :mrgreen:

    Reply
  • 14. shebee  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:35 am

    AHAHAHAHAA! I totally forgot about ‘silophosically’.

    Good lawd.

    **lols**

    Reply
  • 15. shebee  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:40 am

    That is a work of lyrical genius, that is.

    Reply
  • 16. cathjenkin  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:46 am

    LOL LOL LOL LOL

    SAY IT PROUD
    SAY IT LOUD

    LOL

    Reply
  • 17. Made In SA  |  August 18, 2008 at 9:59 am

    SEE LADIES…… I AM A NICE GUY?

    Reply
  • 18. mulletized  |  August 18, 2008 at 10:11 am

    Awesome! Not enough men bashing. At braai’s in locker rooms. Most men are fuckin idiots and dont see shit.

    I would also be a lesbian if i could.

    Reply
  • 19. mulletized  |  August 18, 2008 at 10:31 am

    Awesome! Not enough man bashing. At braai’s, in locker rooms, most men are fuckin idiots who dont see shit.

    I would also be a lesbian if i could.

    Reply
  • 20. Eish  |  August 18, 2008 at 10:58 am

    Cas im a good guy (hate being referred to as “nice” or “sweet”) I’m going to correct you; “Men suck. They do…all except Dylan that is” 😛

    Reply
  • 21. Stef  |  August 18, 2008 at 11:04 am

    men suck… yes!!!!!
    yes!!!!
    yes!!!!

    *sigh*

    such a pity tho… 😦

    Reply
  • 22. cathjenkin  |  August 18, 2008 at 11:18 am

    sigh.

    the pity is felt worst in my heart today.

    Reply
  • 23. cathjenkin  |  August 18, 2008 at 11:18 am

    HOLY GOD.

    Emo Cath. Is fucking Emo.

    Reply
  • 24. shebee  |  August 18, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    Wow. The boys are trying so hard today!

    @Cath – now that you’ve outed yourself…

    MAC! and LOL!

    Reply
  • 25. justBcoz  |  August 18, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    Please can I just say something now?

    SheBee – you are the AWESOMEST friend EVA chick!

    Reply
  • 26. Glugster  |  August 18, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    Good thing I’m a lesbian.

    Reply
  • 27. shebee  |  August 18, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    Suetjie – she is even better, trust me on that score.

    Gluggie – Yes. Cos you are of the Lickalottapuss variation of species.

    Ewe. Can’t believe I just typed that out.

    Reply
  • 28. fatbastard  |  August 18, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    Only poofters suck, I know the rest of us generally lick……

    Reply
  • 29. cathjenkin  |  August 18, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    and I quote from a dvd shebee and I watched this weekend which made us laaaugh:

    “I know you’re gay, but i like the hard-to-get types”

    Reply
  • 30. JAUN  |  August 19, 2008 at 7:01 am

    Hi sheen.i dont mind u dissing men.i know not everyone is gr8,but Princess Sophia says ur nasty!

    Reply
  • 31. angel  |  August 20, 2008 at 7:49 am

    erm… so shall i NOT say anything about how lucky and spoilt and loved-up i am…??
    ;P

    Reply

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