How randoms find me

1. Slipper hurt my foot. 

Oh shame you poor person, you. Please explain to me how Google can assist you with this current problem?

2. How to get drunk girls home with me.

Well, Sparky, this is how: make sure your nails are clean, because no woman in her right mind will let you touch her anywhere with dirty nails. Once that’s sorted, ensure your person looks presentable and that you are not a sex freak look-a-like. Girls don’t really like that much. How you actually get the drunk girl to your actual house I don’t actually know. Maybe you could ask Jeffery Dahlmer, you sicko!

3. Woman in KZN looking for audult fun.

The place to go: Teasers. You can’t touch them much, but maybe if you sit on your hand long enough and call it Foxy, you might find some loving with a difference once you get back home. Dog snot. And its adult. ADULT.

4. Famdamily.

I have one of those too! Except, mine is slightly bigger than yours and my dad can kick your dads ass.

5. Portable Pussy.

It was a joke people, sheesh! On a serious note, I thought only my internet mate and I were this insane, you don’t actually believe those things are real, do you?

6. Doing dead people hair for funerals.

Wow, that must be a totally awesome job. Not.

7. Things to do for boyfriends and girlfriends.

Well now, one or two things you could try:

               1. kamasutra

               2. handcuffs

8. Something dying inside of me.

Dear god, did you eat a frog? I hear those things can’t live long inside you. Get medical assistance, guy, like now!

9. Is my son doing crack?

Jeez, lady, I dunno! You should get one of those drug checker thingies. That might help.

10. Going home to Jesus.

Well, lets hope he cooked me an apple pie, yo. He’s good at that. I’m so glad I married Jesus… *Happy Sigh*

11. I am busy spring cleaning

Well good for you! You missed a spot, right there behind your anal tendancies.

12. Fuck off stupid bitch

Well now! didn’t your mother ever wash your mouth out with soap when you were so rude?

13. “i’m worth more than that”

Thats right, you keep telling yourself that, sunshine

14. Rhyme sheens

leans? cleans? preens? its not that hard really

15. They make you lay on a cold hospital bed

You could always ask them to warm up the hospital sheets?

16. I am a boy and i was a girl

Now there’s some ingredients for confusion! Sorry for you, buddy.

17. Are you sarcastic?

Who, me? Never. Evar. Like, never, ever, ever. Pssh.

18. Wossa virgin?

Someone who doesn’t like bumping uglies.

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Wogan May  |  July 9, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    Hahahaha! Classic!

    Reply
  • 2. Glen  |  July 9, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Classic!

    Reply
  • 3. Norio  |  September 3, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    Nice ones, Bee 🙂 (Hmm taken out of context, that sounds bad :D)

    Reply

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